The Bachelor Beat: The Hometowns

Posted on February 23, 2015 by Stef Wade

I apologize for the lack of poetic recaps of late. I mean, I meant to blog about The Bachelor, but I’ve been confused. Is this one of those crazy crossover shows where they take characters from one show and delicately interweave the story lines?Am I watching Gotham? Are these all the crazies that have escaped from Arkham under the careful watch of Detective Gordon? If that’s the case, let me at those producers, I have so many ideas.

While I wait for the spinoff of The Bachelor: Survivor so I can see Kelsey and Ashley I. try to survive in the Badlands with no mirror or makeup counter for miles, I guess I’ll have to settle for finding out if our small town farm boy is going to actually take someone back to Arlington, Iowa to play Laura Ingalls with him.

So before Chris unsuspectingly takes a virgin to the fantasy suite, here is the next installment of –

The Bachelor Beat: The Hometowns

Just a small-town boy, born and raised in Arlington,
took a group of girls to the middle of nowhere.
Some girls gasped, some girls swooned
Some girls couldn’t wait to go home soon.
He took a group of girls to the middle of nowhere.

Oh Chris, don’t stop believin’
hold on to your false ideals
These girls lie and
are in Playboy!

Hometown visit to Chicago, where Whitney’s sister flat out said No.
She doesn’t want her sister dating a polygamist.
Kaitlyn rapped, she wasn’t rude
Becca’s family outed her as a prude
No one wants their kid dating a polygamist.

Oh Chris, don’t stop believin’
hold on to your false ideals
These girls lie and
are in Playboy!

Just a small-town girl, showed her naughty bits to the world
with a name like Jade, it was inevitable.
Some pics were tame, some were lewd
Chris saw Jade and she was completely nude.
With a name like Jade, it was inevitable.

Oh Chris, don’t stop believin’
hold on to your false ideals
These girls lie and
are in Playboy!

#DIYBookClub February Bonus Challenge

Posted on February 12, 2015 by Stef Wade

We’re almost halfway through this romantic month of love. Are you finished with your romance read for the #DIYBookClub yet? Haven’t started? Just in case you breezed through your love novel, a February bonus challenge is waiting for you. A bonus challenge that’ll speak to your dark side. A bonus challenge for all you Valentine-hating readers out there. Did your last read make you feel too warm and fuzzy on the inside? Need to cure your love sickness? This bonus challenge is a guaranteed cure.

It’s time to do a 180. Read a book that will freak you out, gross you out or make you not able to sleep at night. Erase all your feelings of love with feelings of terror and suspense and things that make you go “ewww.”

I’m jumping on the bandwagon and reading THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN by Paula Hawkins. Touted as the next GONE GIRL, this psychological thriller promises horrors around ever bend. I’m 25 pages in and all I want to do right now is curl up and finish it.

Need other ideas?

Well, if you haven’t read GONE GIRL by Gillian Flynn, do that. You won’t regret it. Anything by Neil Gaiman is sure to set your lovesick mind straight, particularly THE OCEAN AT THE END OF THE LANE which still haunts my every dream. Or go non-fiction in the area of forensic medicine and try STIFF: THE CURIOUS LIVES OF HUMAN CADAVERS by Mary Roach.

What are your favorite love-crushing books? What will you be reading?

#DIYBookClub: February Romance Read

Posted on February 5, 2015 by Stef Wade

Love is in the air folks. It’s February and what better way to celebrate the month of love than with a little romance reading. This month’s #DIYBookClub Challenge is to read a romance. Now I’m not talking a pulsating loin, Fabio covered, read in the privacy of your own home romance…or maybe I am. If you’ve never read an “official” romance, give it a try! It’s not all Fifty Shades of S&M, there are so many different types of stories to fit your fancy – paranormal, contemporary, historical, young adult and more!

With that being said, you don’t need to read a “real” romance novel either, just a story about a romance. Since most writer’s love to write about love, the possibilities are endless.

I will be reading the YA contemporary romance Catching Jordan by Miranda Kenneally. A fun read about a female quarterback who falls in love with the guy vying for her spot on the team.

Looking for ideas?

Paranormal romance: Shameless plug for my friend Hanna Martine’s series, The Elementals, starting with Liquid Lies.

Classic romance: Try Persuasion by Jane Austen (or almost anything else by Jane Austen)

Historical fiction: The History of Love by Nicole Krauss

Or check out this list of the best romantic novels of all time.

Let me know what you’re reading to bring some heat to this mid-winter cold.

The Bachelor Beat: Episode 3

Posted on January 27, 2015 by Stef Wade

So far this season, I’m less impressed with Chris Soules than the 15 suitors fumbling half naked at his feet. There’s lots of drinking, lots of kissing and lots of crying. Drink, kiss, cry, repeat. But just to give you a refresher before tonight’s promising episode, here is the next installment of the Bachelor Beat.

The Bachelor Beat: Episode 3

Young Chris Soules had a farm
EIEIO
He left his farm to find a wife
EIEIO
With a fake Kardashian here and an Alanis Morissette look-alike there
Here a Costco date, there a wedding crash
Everywhere they’re smash, smashed.
Young Chris Soules had a farm
EIEIO

Young Chris Soules had a farm
EIEIO
He left his farm to find a wife
EIEIO
With a blurred butt here and a goat milk chugger there
Here a pool party, there a jealous mom
Everywhere they’re bomb-bombed.
Young Chris Soules had a farm
EIEIO

Young Chris Soules had a farm
EIEIO
He left his farm to find a wife
EIEIO
With a Jimmy Kimmel here and a side boob there
Here a head jewel, there a porn shoe
Everywhere they boo-hoo.
Young Chris Soules had a farm
EIEIO.

#DIYBookClub Reading List

Posted on January 20, 2015 by Stef Wade

If you’re a planner, here’s a full year list for the 2015 #DIYBookClub challenge. I’m already contemplating what my February book will be! And of course, there will always be extra bonus reads each month. Who’s joining in?

The Bachelor Beat: Episode 2

Posted on January 20, 2015 by Stef Wade

Unknown We are about to start episode number 3 of The Bachelor. Don’t think I forgot about my episode two recap. If you missed last week, this is all you need to know.

The Bachelor Beat: Episode 2 – A Haiku

Chris kissed lots of girls,
Almost too many to count.
Ashley S. needs help.

Happy Monday everyone!

#DIYBookClub: January Bonus Round

Posted on January 15, 2015 by Stef Wade

I hope you’re all having the happiest of new years! I hope you’re all enjoying the first challenge of the #DIYBookClub. I just finished The Giver and I’m now dying to watch the movie and to talk about the book with anyone I know!

Now, I know everyone reads at different speeds. One book a month may be perfect for some and it may sound measly to others. So I am going to add in a few bonus rounds each month for those who are wanting more on their plate.

The first bonus round will be:

Listen to an audiobook.

Bornstandingup This may be simple for some of you. Maybe you do it all the time on your commute to work or on your iPod while running. I enjoy audiobooks but they are harder for me to squeeze in. So this is challenge for me, but one I’m excited to accept! I love humor and comedy writing. I love listening to humor audiobooks even more.

So this month, I am listening to Steve Martin’s Born Standing Up – his story (narrated by Steve himself) on how he began his stand-up career and how it lead to his lifetime of success.

I plan to listen anytime I am in the car by myself or just with my little guy (not my older one – not sure about the content for him). I’m not sure how long it will take me, but it is worth a try!

Is anyone else joining in? What are your favorite audiobooks to listen to?

And for those of you who plan ahead, I will be posting the entire year of monthly challenges this week.

Happy reading and happy listening!

The Bachelor Beat: Episode 1

Posted on January 12, 2015 by Stef Wade

It’s embarrassing. It’s against everything I believe in. But it’s just so addicting. I lasted for about ten years before one day falling down the rabbit hole into the deep dark abyss of Bachelor fandom. So it is here that I embrace my faults.

So without further ado, my poetic wrap-up of last week’s premier…

The Bachelor Beat: Episode 1

Chris Soules went on The Bachelorette to find himself a wife.
Instead he took a limo straight back to his farm life.
But America they couldn’t resist that rugged farm town boy
with his amber waves of grain, tractors, cows and soy.

So Prince Farming traveled to LA to meet his future bride.
He strengthened up his muscles and oiled up his ride.
He pulled up on his motorcycle to 30 women in heat.
Only one will win his heart, the rest will claim defeat.

There’s Alissa the flight attendant, wanting Chris on her wing
and Carly the cruise ship singer, who couldn’t really sing.
There is Jillian who flexed her biceps and Jordan who teaches dance,
Mackenzie has a kid name Kale and Kaitlyn wants in Chris’s pants.

There are two Ashley’s – S and I – who are both still in the running.
Ashley S thought a hanging pomegranate was actually an onion.
With the middle of the alphabet there wasn’t much to see.
There’s Jade, Jordan, Juelia, Megan and Kelsey.

Cowgirl Tara’s mutliple whiskey drinks left her teetering on her toes,
Much to the dismay of the others, she still got a rose.
While Becca is quite beautiful, it’s Britt who Chris did see.
She got the first impression rose, Chris got a hug (and more) for free.

Whitney sounds like she sucked down helium, Tracy’s students really care.
Amber mixes drinks in CHI-town, perhaps she should hang with Tara.
They fought for his attention, they interrupted and they sneered.
When the three hours were finally over, all of America cheered.

Chris gave the boot to eight women, true love was not meant to be
There was Bo the plus sized model and scorned Kimberly
The ginger and the bloody heart, the wrestler and the baker
And Amanda with the crazy eyes? Nope, he didn’t take her.

It’s not at all a shocker that Kara scared him away
And apparently Kimberly is coming back with so much more to say.
Chris is on his way to love, the count is down to twenty-two
What are the odds that this Prince Farming will actually say “I do?”

Are you tuning in tonight? You can respond anonymously.

2015 #DIYBookClub Challenge

Posted on January 6, 2015 by Stef Wade

Ahhh the new year. A time of fresh starts and new beginnings. A time to set resolutions we will give up in two days, two weeks or if you’re really ambitious two months. Lose weight! Find love! Follow my dreams! I find that breaking new year resolutions down to the nitty gritty helps me to stay on task. This year, for example, I aim to take my nail polish off before it diminishes to small spots in the middle of my finger. Small goals. Baby steps. As they say, set the bar low. It’s not that I don’t have huge lofty goals for myself (hello, look at this website) but I don’t necessarily find the new year resolution to be the best goal setting device.

I do like the idea of starting the year out with some ideas that offer room for growth. I was inspired by a reading challenge list PopSugar put out at the end of the year. I love book clubs. I love being given something to read that I may not have grabbed off the shelf. However, sometimes book clubs end up with the same books or you put off reading books you really want to read because of your book club. Problem and Solution! Enter the 2015 #DIYBookClub Challenge. I’m hosting a virtual do-it-yourself book club. Once a month (and a few bonus challenges too), I will post a challenge topic. However that topic pertains to you and your interests, you pick a book to match. The beauty? We can read the same books, or different books, and share our thoughts during and after reading them – right here on this site.

So who’s with me?

Our January challenge is to read:

A book that became a movie

I am vigilant about reading books before I see their movie counterparts (with a few exceptions), so I love this category! I am starting out by reading THE GIVER by Lois Lowry. I’ve had this book on my to-read list for years and have yet to get around to it. The movie is out to rent now and before I watch, I need to read!

What will you be reading? Please share below! Also, follow me on Facebook or Twitter for extra updates and reviews. If you post on social media, let’s use #DIYBookClub so we can follow it together!

Happy New Year and Happy Reading!

What’s Your Favorite Word?

Posted on October 23, 2014 by Stef Wade

I’ve been a logophile ever since I can remember. The word nerd inside of me can’t resist a multi-syllabic hundred dollar word. Back in high school, I took a class called Word Clues where we nerdily dove into the amazing art of etymology. Not that I sit down and read the dictionary (often), but I’m always on the lookout for another word to add to my vocabulary. Using a new word in conversation gives me an embarrassing wave of excitement.

My four-year old son loves the PBS show Word Girl, which often touts the little ditty, “What’s Your Favorite Word?” Such a loaded question. I have so many! Because I’m a lover of lists (if anyone knows a word for that, please let me know), here, in no particular order, are a list of some of my favorite words I’ve learned throughout my life. You may know them, you may not. Try using these in a sentence this week.

1. Prestidigitation: magic tricks
2. Septuagenarian: a person in their 70’s
3. Inertia: an object at motion stays in motion unless acted upon by an outside force
4. Quagmire: a boggy area of land
5. Triskaidekaphobia: fear of the number 13
6. Languid: weak, faint or fatigued
7. Onomatopoeia: a formation of a word from a sound associated with what it is named
8. Cacophony: a harsh mixture of sounds
9. Sanguine: optimistic or blood-red (double bonus!)
10. Muckrake: to search for and expose scandal or corruption

These are my favorite words. They may not be earth shattering, nor are they meant to be. These words for some reason, have stuck in my brain since the first day I heard them. I love to use them whenever I get the chance. I actually find myself editing them out of my work. They are great, but they aren’t always so great where I decide to place them in young adult fiction. However, I may just sneak one in every once in awhile for an extra giggle.

So it just begs the question for you…”What’s your favorite word?”