The Bachelor Beat: Episode 3

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So far this season, I’m less impressed with Chris Soules than the 15 suitors fumbling half naked at his feet. There’s lots of drinking, lots of kissing and lots of crying. Drink, kiss, cry, repeat. But just to give you a refresher before tonight’s promising episode, here is the next installment of the Bachelor Beat.

The Bachelor Beat: Episode 3

Young Chris Soules had a farm
EIEIO
He left his farm to find a wife
EIEIO
With a fake Kardashian here and an Alanis Morissette look-alike there
Here a Costco date, there a wedding crash
Everywhere they’re smash, smashed.
Young Chris Soules had a farm
EIEIO

Young Chris Soules had a farm
EIEIO
He left his farm to find a wife
EIEIO
With a blurred butt here and a goat milk chugger there
Here a pool party, there a jealous mom
Everywhere they’re bomb-bombed.
Young Chris Soules had a farm
EIEIO

Young Chris Soules had a farm
EIEIO
He left his farm to find a wife
EIEIO
With a Jimmy Kimmel here and a side boob there
Here a head jewel, there a porn shoe
Everywhere they boo-hoo.
Young Chris Soules had a farm
EIEIO.

xo stef wade green

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