The truth about the bird’s acne

Sadie here. Today’s post is brought to you by the letter D for duped and the number 3 for my third finger…because it’s up in the air right now, facing my mom’s bedroom. Just because she can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not there.

To all my fellow bloglets out there who’ve been through something similar, this one’s for you:

Hunger Games

Today I discovered that Mother Bird’s been sneaking behind my back, taking before and after pictures of my face. Okay, it’s not like she tiptoed into my room while I was sleeping (though I wouldn’t put it passed her). She had me pose with my siblings for pictures right before bed (pajama snuggles! cheese!). I’m sans make-up, looking just shy of my worst when she lures me using tiny people, then crops my face to show how great the recent facial cleansing regimen has been to my skin.

Before: acne!

After: less acne!

{Pictures have been removed to halt further embarrassment to “face model”}

Thanks Mom. Having zits isn’t enough, let’s show the world a magnified portrait of my facial volcanoes.

I know there’s benefit from a good before and after picture, but there’s also a little thing called consent and our beloved Mother Bird? She doesn’t have it.

That’s all for now. If you need me, I’ll be holed up in my room researching photography and the law.

In truth,

Sadie Peck

 

#cringeworthy

Inquiring minds want to know my thought process when my mom decides to expose the inner most workings of my private life for the viewing pleasure of the entire world. It’s a process of emotions.

First, there’s dread.

Taylor Swift Dread

My stomach drops like an Adele record every time I see an email notification on my phone. Could it be another post from my mom? Will it ruin my social life?

 

Second, there’s anger. 


The Wonder Years meme

I’m like a teenager girl version of the Incredible Hulk. Another post? Sadie ANGRY! Sadie SMASH! Or if I’m feeling a bit more self-contained, it comes out like the ultimate Wonder Years/Kevin Arnold stare down.

Third, there’s embarrassment. 

Embarrassment

If my mom’s posts make YOU uncomfortable, imagine how I feel! If I don’t look at you while I’m walking down the hallway, it’s because I’m too busy hanging my head in shame. My life is one #cringeworthy moment after another.

Now if you excuse me, I’m going to find a dark closet to hide in for the rest of the day.

In truth,

Sadie Peck

The Truth About the Birds

birds photo

I can’t believe I’m about to share this with you. In reality, I’m sure you’ve seen this before and that’s why you’re here to begin with, but just as a refresher:

My mom started this little blog of hers as a project for a community college class. Like a meme of a grumpy cat, it went viral. Then it spun out of control. That’s how I got the name Sparrow. That’s how you know every miserable detail of my life (or at least you think you do). That’s why I’m here today, writing to you. How would you feel if your mom posted this for the entire world? If you’d feel anything other than sheer mortification, feel free to leave your comments below.

From FEATHER MY NEST circa 7th grade:

It’s not every day your daughter turns into a woman right before your very eyes. They may slowly climb the ladder of maturity, going from frilly socks to mature footwear, from curly pigtails to flat irons. But this weekend was different.

This weekend, my daughter got her period.

I. Can’t. Even.

Seriously, I can’t continue if I want to keep my lunch down.

If you think it can’t get worse, trust me, it does. She continues on about the mother/daughter bonding experience of puberty.

Ugh, I hate that word. Puberty.

There was no bonding. There was no experience. There was my mom announcing to an entire boat of family friends (including my biggest crush) that I’d officially become a woman. There were tears. There were glares. There was no “moment.”

Is that the Mother Bird you picture? No? Well there’s plenty more where that came from.

Read on my friends…read on…

In truth,

Sadie Peck aka Sparrow