I’m So Excited, I’m So Excited…

Do you want to know why I’ve been saying this?

excited

And doing this?

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And acting like this?

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As you can see, I’m super excited to announce to you that I am now represented by the lovely super agent Christa Heschke at McIntosh & Otis!

We’re already hard at work and I’m well…excited…about the projects we’re working on. I’ll give you more details in the near future. But for now, I’ll just do one more of these…

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xo stef wade green

#DIYBookClub: March

It’s March. The hope of spring is creeping around the corner. And what does spring mean? Spring cleaning! So while you procrastinate cleaning out the garage or taking down your Christmas lights (you know who you are), the March category for the #DIYBookClub is one spring cleaning task you can easily wrap your hands around.

Olive KitteridgeThis month, we’re picking the book that has been at the bottom of your to-read pile for the longest. This can be your physical book pile, your Goodreads list or that book a friend told you to read ten years ago and you never did. In the spirit of cleaning house, I’m choosing a book from the pile next to my bed that never seems to get smaller. This month, I’ll be reading Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout. It won a Pulitzer, it’s been made into an HBO miniseries and it’s been collecting dust in my room since 2008. I’m excited to read it and move along to the next dust collector.

2008 may not seem like that long ago for some of your to-read piles. What are you reading and more importantly, how long has it been there?

Please share with us. And for my short thoughts and ratings on the books I’m reading, follow me on Goodreads!

xo stef wade green

The Bachelor Beat: The Hometowns

Bachelor Hometowns

I apologize for the lack of poetic recaps of late. I mean, I meant to blog about The Bachelor, but I’ve been confused. Is this one of those crazy crossover shows where they take characters from one show and delicately interweave the story lines?Am I watching Gotham? Are these all the crazies that have escaped from Arkham under the careful watch of Detective Gordon? If that’s the case, let me at those producers, I have so many ideas.

While I wait for the spinoff of The Bachelor: Survivor so I can see Kelsey and Ashley I. try to survive in the Badlands with no mirror or makeup counter for miles, I guess I’ll have to settle for finding out if our small town farm boy is going to actually take someone back to Arlington, Iowa to play Laura Ingalls with him.

So before Chris unsuspectingly takes a virgin to the fantasy suite, here is the next installment of –

The Bachelor Beat: The Hometowns

Just a small-town boy, born and raised in Arlington,
took a group of girls to the middle of nowhere.
Some girls gasped, some girls swooned
Some girls couldn’t wait to go home soon.
He took a group of girls to the middle of nowhere.

Oh Chris, don’t stop believin’
hold on to your false ideals
These girls lie and
are in Playboy!

Hometown visit to Chicago, where Whitney’s sister flat out said No.
She doesn’t want her sister dating a polygamist.
Kaitlyn rapped, she wasn’t rude
Becca’s family outed her as a prude
No one wants their kid dating a polygamist.

Oh Chris, don’t stop believin’
hold on to your false ideals
These girls lie and
are in Playboy!

Just a small-town girl, showed her naughty bits to the world
with a name like Jade, it was inevitable.
Some pics were tame, some were lewd
Chris saw Jade and she was completely nude.
With a name like Jade, it was inevitable.

Oh Chris, don’t stop believin’
hold on to your false ideals
These girls lie and
are in Playboy!

xo stef wade green

#DIYBookClub February Bonus Challenge

We’re almost halfway through this romantic month of love. Are you finished with your romance read for the #DIYBookClub yet? Haven’t started? Just in case you breezed through your love novel, a February bonus challenge is waiting for you. A bonus challenge that’ll speak to your dark side. A bonus challenge for all you Valentine-hating readers out there. Did your last read make you feel too warm and fuzzy on the inside? Need to cure your love sickness? This bonus challenge is a guaranteed cure.

It’s time to do a 180. Read a book that will freak you out, gross you out or make you not able to sleep at night. Erase all your feelings of love with feelings of terror and suspense and things that make you go “ewww.”

The Girl on the TrainI’m jumping on the bandwagon and reading THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN by Paula Hawkins. Touted as the next GONE GIRL, this psychological thriller promises horrors around ever bend. I’m 25 pages in and all I want to do right now is curl up and finish it.

Need other ideas?

Well, if you haven’t read GONE GIRL by Gillian Flynn, do that. You won’t regret it. Anything by Neil Gaiman is sure to set your lovesick mind straight, particularly THE OCEAN AT THE END OF THE LANE which still haunts my every dream. Or go non-fiction in the area of forensic medicine and try STIFF: THE CURIOUS LIVES OF HUMAN CADAVERS by Mary Roach.

What are your favorite love-crushing books? What will you be reading?

xo stef wade green

#DIYBookClub: February Romance Read

Love is in the air folks. It’s February and what better way to celebrate the month of love than with a little romance reading. This month’s #DIYBookClub Challenge is to read a romance. Now I’m not talking a pulsating loin, Fabio covered, read in the privacy of your own home romance…or maybe I am. If you’ve never read an “official” romance, give it a try! It’s not all Fifty Shades of S&M, there are so many different types of stories to fit your fancy – paranormal, contemporary, historical, young adult and more!

With that being said, you don’t need to read a “real” romance novel either, just a story about a romance. Since most writer’s love to write about love, the possibilities are endless.

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I will be reading the YA contemporary romance Catching Jordan by Miranda Kenneally. A fun read about a female quarterback who falls in love with the guy vying for her spot on the team.

Looking for ideas?

Paranormal romance: Shameless plug for my friend Hanna Martine’s series, The Elementals, starting with Liquid Lies.

Classic romance: Try Persuasion by Jane Austen (or almost anything else by Jane Austen)

Historical fiction: The History of Love by Nicole Krauss

Or check out this list of the best romantic novels of all time.

Let me know what you’re reading to bring some heat to this mid-winter cold.

xo stef wade green

 

 

 

The Bachelor Beat: Episode 3

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So far this season, I’m less impressed with Chris Soules than the 15 suitors fumbling half naked at his feet. There’s lots of drinking, lots of kissing and lots of crying. Drink, kiss, cry, repeat. But just to give you a refresher before tonight’s promising episode, here is the next installment of the Bachelor Beat.

The Bachelor Beat: Episode 3

Young Chris Soules had a farm
EIEIO
He left his farm to find a wife
EIEIO
With a fake Kardashian here and an Alanis Morissette look-alike there
Here a Costco date, there a wedding crash
Everywhere they’re smash, smashed.
Young Chris Soules had a farm
EIEIO

Young Chris Soules had a farm
EIEIO
He left his farm to find a wife
EIEIO
With a blurred butt here and a goat milk chugger there
Here a pool party, there a jealous mom
Everywhere they’re bomb-bombed.
Young Chris Soules had a farm
EIEIO

Young Chris Soules had a farm
EIEIO
He left his farm to find a wife
EIEIO
With a Jimmy Kimmel here and a side boob there
Here a head jewel, there a porn shoe
Everywhere they boo-hoo.
Young Chris Soules had a farm
EIEIO.

xo stef wade green

#DIYBookClub: January Bonus Round

I hope you’re all having the happiest of new years! I hope you’re all enjoying the first challenge of the #DIYBookClub. I just finished The Giver and I’m now dying to watch the movie and to talk about the book with anyone I know!

Now, I know everyone reads at different speeds. One book a month may be perfect for some and it may sound measly to others. So I am going to add in a few bonus rounds each month for those who are wanting more on their plate.

The first bonus round will be:

Listen to an audiobook.

BornstandingupThis may be simple for some of you. Maybe you do it all the time on your commute to work or on your iPod while running. I enjoy audiobooks but they are harder for me to squeeze in. So this is challenge for me, but one I’m excited to accept! I love humor and comedy writing. I love listening to humor audiobooks even more.

So this month, I am listening to Steve Martin’s Born Standing Up – his story (narrated by Steve himself) on how he began his stand-up career and how it lead to his lifetime of success.

I plan to listen anytime I am in the car by myself or just with my little guy (not my older one – not sure about the content for him). I’m not sure how long it will take me, but it is worth a try!

 

Is anyone else joining in? What are your favorite audiobooks to listen to?

And for those of you who plan ahead, I will be posting the entire year of monthly challenges this week.

Happy reading and happy listening!

xo stef wade green

The Bachelor Beat: Episode 1

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It’s embarrassing. It’s against everything I believe in. But it’s just so addicting. I lasted for about ten years before one day falling down the rabbit hole into the deep dark abyss of Bachelor fandom. So it is here that I embrace my faults.

So without further ado, my poetic wrap-up of last week’s premier…

The Bachelor Beat: Episode 1

Chris Soules went on The Bachelorette to find himself a wife.
Instead he took a limo straight back to his farm life.
But America they couldn’t resist that rugged farm town boy
with his amber waves of grain, tractors, cows and soy.

So Prince Farming traveled to LA to meet his future bride.
He strengthened up his muscles and oiled up his ride.
He pulled up on his motorcycle to 30 women in heat.
Only one will win his heart, the rest will claim defeat.

There’s Alissa the flight attendant, wanting Chris on her wing
and Carly the cruise ship singer, who couldn’t really sing.
There is Jillian who flexed her biceps and Jordan who teaches dance,
Mackenzie has a kid name Kale and Kaitlyn wants in Chris’s pants.

There are two Ashley’s – S and I – who are both still in the running.
Ashley S thought a hanging pomegranate was actually an onion.
With the middle of the alphabet there wasn’t much to see.
There’s Jade, Jordan, Juelia, Megan and Kelsey.

Cowgirl Tara’s mutliple whiskey drinks left her teetering on her toes,
Much to the dismay of the others, she still got a rose.
While Becca is quite beautiful, it’s Britt who Chris did see.
She got the first impression rose, Chris got a hug (and more) for free.

Whitney sounds like she sucked down helium, Tracy’s students really care.
Amber mixes drinks in CHI-town, perhaps she should hang with Tara.
They fought for his attention, they interrupted and they sneered.
When the three hours were finally over, all of America cheered.

Chris gave the boot to eight women, true love was not meant to be
There was Bo the plus sized model and scorned Kimberly
The ginger and the bloody heart, the wrestler and the baker
And Amanda with the crazy eyes? Nope, he didn’t take her.

It’s not at all a shocker that Kara scared him away
And apparently Kimberly is coming back with so much more to say.
Chris is on his way to love, the count is down to twenty-two
What are the odds that this Prince Farming will actually say “I do?”

Are you tuning in tonight? You can respond anonymously.

xo stef wade green